I SEE YOUR DIRTY FACE ,, keagan daniels

[charlie c. laurent-daniels.]

charliecarolinelaurent-daniels
here in this crowd i'm feeling all alone
turn me around and point me back to home
i'm getting lost more every day and i can't tear myself away
from the stars in my eyes with no light

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glamorous and pregnancy never belonged in the same sentence. at least not when it went like this. see, the way it was supposed to go? it was supposed to go like this -- charlie was supposed to wait until keagan was twenty-five. that had went out the window after she had taken those pregnancy tests. she had pretty much bought the whole store out of them. but she was skeptical. so she had taken quite a few. they all came back positive. she was a bit worried, but still in denial. and it wasn't until about ten more later than she panicked. panic was actually putting it lightly. she didn't know what she was supposed to do and she couldn't help but to sit on the floor of the bathroom in her hotel and actually cry, attempting to figure out how she was supposed to go about this. it had to be a bad dream. all of this had to be a dream. she wasn't a model, she was still working at a fast food restaurant. but she even shook that thought from her head when it would come up. she didn't know what was worse, actually.

but that had been weeks ago she had taken those tests. yet it played in her mind like it happened yesterday. charlie, that was what we called a guilty conscience. she understood that she should have told keagan by now what was going on. she barely even paid any attention to him since she had learned. she'd come up with lies to get away from him so he wouldn't figure out. but she thought she just needed 'time' until she would come up with something to make this all better. and she knew that the last thing she'd do was even think of an abortion... or adoption. yeah, that left her with no choices but to just deal with what was going to happen.

today had been one of those days she was going back to the house. so she had been quick about getting ready and getting out to the house. there she had parked the car quickly, hoping keagan wasn't home. she was usually quick about getting in and out. and she was usually caught. but she'd just add another lie and leave quickly before he had a chance to assume anything. pulling the keys out of the ignition, charlie looked around for his car and spotted it. that did nothing to improve her mood and in fact made her curse under her breath. but she still walked inside the large home and glanced around. nothing was out of place since she had last visited.

from there she simply progressed into the kitchen and started trying to make a sandwhich. he was around so what was the use of hiding? it was like he had sensors of some kind. like he knew when she was around and could actually sniff her out if he wanted. and if he brought anything up about her stomach, she could lie and say she had been gaining weight. as if he'd actually believe that. so she usually just wore a shirt that didn't even hug against her and bring attention to her stomach.

only a few more minutes. she could feel it already. only a few more before he'd find her down here. and she didn't want to argue. but she knew that's what it was going to come down to. she was cornered and getting ready to just... hear it all. and she wanted to believe he wouldn't be angry with her for just going away like she had. but hell, she would be pretty angry if he did it to her. sitting at the table and eating her food, she simply counted every second in her mind. every one was so much more slow than the next. too slow, actually.

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[keagan mark daniels ™]

` keagan mark daniels ,,
i'm just a cross hair - i'm just a shot away from you.
& if you leave here, you leave me broken, shattered, alive.
i'm just a cross hair, i'm just a shot, & then we can die.

[/font]

YOU'RE A WOMANIZER.

it was really a matter of time until keagan actually got up out of bed. he was tired; he hadn't slept in a while. he was worried about charlie. she was never home anymore, and it worried him. she always had an excuse to leave the house, whether it had been a friend's party or a photo shoot. and all he could do was sit back. it had been going on for a few weeks and in those few weeks he had seen his wife maybe four to five times, if he were lucky. she was never home. and it led to speculations that he just couldn't bring up to her. when he did see her, he would try to ask her, and she blew him off, saying she was only here to get clothes and run.

so it left keagan to many sleepless nights. he lay awake in bed, in many cases, and listened to all the cars driving past the house. he always wished that he would hear one that sounded like her car, in which she would turn into the driveway and she would rush on into the bedroom moments later, like she always had before, to only startle him awake because she was just so happy to be home. and he wouldn't care that she woke him up. he was just glad she was back. but lately when she came home and rushed into the room, it was quickly and quietly. and sometimes he startled awake, and most times, he didn't. most times he just saw a few things missing from her closet, or the doors and drawers were left open. and that was the only way he had known she was there.

but last night was different. last night, he had sat up in bed, and he sat with his back against the headboard, his pillow held in his lap as he twirled his fingers and racked his brains. he tried to figure out answers, answers to why she was not ever home. that was all he wanted. just answers. but he didn't have questions to ask her. and so he pulled at his hair, smoked a full pack of cigarettes - he never smokes in the house, let alone the bedroom - and nothing. nothing came to mind. all he knew was that he was stressed and concerned about her whereabouts all this time.

but he heard a car, and after a night of no sleep, it was hard to even tell if it was pulling into his driveway. everything was so muffled and blurry. but he threw aside his pillow, knocking the ash tray full of cigarettes and ashes onto the carpeted floor - that will be hell to clean - and he tore to the window pane, where he pushed aside the window slats and peered out to the front of his house. there was her car, and it was next to his. he, already being dressed, flew down the stairs in a hurry, but she wasn't there in the entrance lobby of their home. nothing was even there to signify her return.

he moved onward, his head poking into room after room until his eyes rested on the kitchen. he moved in quickly, and keagan saw here there. a smile sprung up on his face. he was happy she was home, but curious as to why she was sitting there eating. "charlie... you're home... where have you been all this time? i've missed you, i've missed you so much

[/color]," he breathed out, sitting at the table next to her.[/size][/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[charlie c. laurent-daniels.]

charliecarolinelaurent-daniels
here in this crowd i'm feeling all alone
turn me around and point me back to home
i'm getting lost more every day and i can't tear myself away
from the stars in my eyes with no light

[/font][/center]

would have it been right for her to think that the words he spoke were honestly hurtful to her? in most situations they would have been the words she happened to be looking for. but this was different. she didn't want to hear that. she wouldn't have even wanted him to walk in the room in case it would get his hopes up, even though he could probably map out how this was going to go down. that was actually why it was nothing but hurtful to her. because deep down, she knew it would hurt him. which went to say, what was worse-- 'hey! surprise! i'm pregnant! congratulations!' or the thought of her leaving for a while again? she was thinking it'd be the first. he hadn't pointed out anything suspicious yet which could mean she could buy herself a little time. she knew that's all she needed... just a little more time before she'd figure out how to tell him.

"i was with rylee. he's been needing help keeping his apartment tidy and all because he's been so busy." a lie, but she was assuming he wouldn't even try and question it. that would probably start some kind of an argument. especially with how tense she was currently feeling with him next to her. she just wasn't wanting to argue, so she was hoping that nothing would come up that would set her off. she slapped a smile on her face and looked at him for a mere second before looking to her food and sighing. "i missed you too." looking at him for too long would probably be dangerous. it would make her crumble. and she hated that kind of power he had over her. but even more so? he'd know what was coming. he'd know that she was getting ready to leave soon. again. she'd come up with something again. something along the lines of still helping rylee or that something had come up suddenly earlier before she came home.

standing up, she put her food down and started toward the refrigerator, "do you want me to make you something to eat?" that would keep him from mentioning anything, surely. it was completely off topic and as much as she had wanted to comment on anything to let him know she cared a lot about, food was a safe subject. there would be no red lights going off. if she pretended everything was peachy keen, then it would be. correct? she pulled out eggs and then showed him, as if to ask him if they'd be okay for her to cook. she wasn't really going to care if he wanted something different. it wouldn't stress her out at all and it would be better. it meant that he was actually going along with the change of subject. that would be beyond amazing.

charlie would only grant herself a few glances at him at a time, occasionally trying to focus on something else the rest of the time. she was attempting to read his face to get ready for anything that he was going to throw at her. if the situation was flipped, she'd probably be questioning him. unless he had some kind of a tour to do. but did he really trust her that much? she was actually afraid of that answer. if it were answered with a yes, she'd feel like he didn't care that much. no, and it would have left her feeling sick in the pit of her stomach. she didn't want to know what he was thinking. so she just went back to trying to distract herself and even keep him from bringing up the current problem at hand. "i can make you pancakes if you don't want eggs, though."

[keagan mark daniels ™]

` keagan mark daniels ,,
i wanna hold 'em like they do in texas plays;
fold 'em, let 'em hit me, raise it, baby stay with me, i love it.
luck and intuition play the cards with spades, to start.
and after she's been hooked, i'll play the one that's on her heart.

[/font]

keagan nodded as charlie explained her visit with rylee. understandable. rylee was a busy guy. just as busy as the next. but why did charlie have to take time out of her schedule to actually sleep at her brother's place so she could tidy it up for him? charlie has her own guy to look after, keagan. she has to look after keagan. he had been living off of take-out for the longest time. he couldn't remember the last time he had a decent, home cooked meal. sure, he made himself rice every now and then, maybe an egg, sunny side up. but he wanted charlie's cooking. she would cook him the greatest things sometimes, you know?

but keagan figured since it was her brother, he couldn't say much. he liked her family - all of them. and who was he to tell charlie she couldn't see her own brother? sure, he may be her husband, but she has responsibilities at her own house, within her own life. but he wasn't going to argue, not today. "it was that messy, hm

[/color]?" keagan said, grin on his face, and a light chuckle pushing past his lips. he was only kidding, but she had been gone a while.

he was still smiling, even as she said she missed him too. but there was something in her voice that was telling him something was up. his smile faded as she looked away all too quickly from him. she was hiding something, and he knew it. and suddenly, he was angered again. he was angry and stressed just like the past few nights. she showed him eggs, and he nodded. he didn't even hear a question. he just figured she was asking him what he wanted to eat. nothing like "hey, can i throw this at you?" so he wasn't worried about that.

he stood from the table and walked towards where charlie was. this time, he heard he say something about pancakes, and as she looked at him, he shook his head. from where he was standing, he was a good foot away from her. but the stench of cigarettes were fluent in his clothes, and she was sure to smell keagan from there. but he didn't care. he cared about her, surely. but he didn't care about much else by that point.

"i saw that um... photo shoot you did with that kid eric? it was, nice[/color]," he said, for lack of anything better to say. nice wasn't the word. come on, he wasn't stupid. they had her looking like a flirty little barbie doll as he stood there in all masculinity with his guitar slung across the backs of his shoulders. it wasn't like that, and he should have known better, but since she's been gone, he was thinking otherwise.[/size][/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[charlie c. laurent-daniels.]

charliecarolinelaurent-daniels
here in this crowd i'm feeling all alone
turn me around and point me back to home
i'm getting lost more every day and i can't tear myself away
from the stars in my eyes with no light

[/font][/center]

charlie chuckled lightly at his statement, looking back at him and shrugging. "it's rylee. if it's him, it's possible for something to get that messy." that was actually pretty true. anyone that knew rylee could very well understand that, because he could seriously be a surprising individual. although charlie wasn't really sure of how messy his apartment was. wouldn't he have to actually be home and not constantly at work or out trying to find women? pulling out a pan for the eggs, she put it up on the stove and turned the stove on. after cracking the eggs and watching them fall into the pan, she smelled something.

but she actually knew that smell. it was rare that it became this strong, hell, she didn't even remember smelling it this much. but it got her to turn her head toward him with a questioning look. "you liked it? it was fun to shoot, and he was rather nice." charlie nodded her head once, scrutinizing his face afterward. he didn't need to mention eric at all. and it in fact got her thinking, but she pushed that aside for the moment and presented her own question. "how much have you been smoking, keagan?" the model knew what it meant when he smoked and she didn't like it. she wasn't going to stop him from smoking, yet asking was something she was going to do. the question of 'why' was on the tip of her tongue, but she very well knew the answer.

getting back to the cooking eggs, she finished up with cooking them and began to search for a plate. "hon, just don't worry about whatever's stressing you out. if it's me, i'm sorry. i've just had a busy schedule this month." that was her explanation for it. finally finding a plate, she had reached and put it down to put the eggs on it and proceeded to hand it to him.

"i love you, alright? and just because i'm not around much now doesn't change that fact." pursing her lips together, charlie raised her eyebrows at keagan and started letting her feet carry her to the table where she promptly sat down and watched him silently, waiting for an answer. actually, she was scared of what he was going to say just because what was going down obviously wasn't going to be put away and forgotten that easily.

[ shorrrrrt. sorry. D: ]

[/font]

[keagan mark daniels ™]

` keagan mark daniels ,,
i wanna hold 'em like they do in texas plays;
fold 'em, let 'em hit me, raise it, baby stay with me, i love it.
luck and intuition play the cards with spades, to start.
and after she's been hooked, i'll play the one that's on her heart.

[/font]

keagan played it off, laughing along at charlie's statement, though he was feeling ten other emotions besides cheerfulness. he was beyond furious, and was damn good at hiding that, apparently, since she wasn't seeing anything was wrong and she was able to seriously laugh just now. "he's most likely just used to being taken care of

[/color]," he said. and in more way than one, he was referring to himself, also. he was used to being taken care of. all his life it had been that way. he was practically born into the lime light. his mother was a high class fashion designer, his father a well suited business entrepreneur. it was just in his nature to be nurtured. during tours and such also. everyone tended to his every need. and charlie was supposed to do the same. that was what a wife did. she cared and nurtured her husband, but she hadn't been around too often lately, and that was all contributing to his grouchiness.

"oh, yeah, it was extravagant[/color]," keagan said, trying to push his sarcasm out of the way, and doing so quite nicely, also. but it was getting to him that she was all happy about it, like she was proud of it or something. and for all keagan knew, they could have slept together, and that was what was irking him. she was proud of herself for that? why else would she be ignoring him, ever since that shoot? keagan swore to himself if he ever got his hands on ericson, he would kill him. that kid was gaining stardom way too quickly, and someone like keagan needed to put him in his place. pronto.

keagan heard her question, and was quite frankly disgusted that she even asked him. dear god, she was trying to make this about him, now? if he had half a mind, he would have shut his mouth. but apparently that half of the mind that she did possess, and did control would have nothing to do with it. he was stressed beyond belief and she must have known it. "this isn't about me, charlie. this is about where ever the fuck you've been for the past few weeks[/color]!" he snapped, not knowing better, obviously. it was most likely the last thing he should have done, but he did it anyways.

"don't worry about it? IF it's you? for one, i HAVE to worry. and yes, it is you. it's been you for the past few weeks! i've not slept in DAYS, CHARLIE, DAYS[/color]!!" he freaked out, even going so far as to pull at his hair, something that he had frequented as of late. it was a stress habit, to pull at his hair and smoke up a storm. it was typical "OMGI'MFREAKINGOUT!" keagan behaviour.

"well yeah it does! especially when you go around, chasing after little eighteen year old models and being all flirty with them! i'm not stupid, i fucking see the tabloids, i see it on mtv. do you honestly think i'm stupid? do you KNOW what people are asking me[/color]!?" he stared at her, almost feeling guilty for laying it on so heavily. but it had to be done. he was a wreck.[/size][/center][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[charlie c. laurent-daniels.]

charliecarolinelaurent-daniels
here in this crowd i'm feeling all alone
turn me around and point me back to home
i'm getting lost more every day and i can't tear myself away
from the stars in my eyes with no light

[/font][/center]

there was tension. she was feeling it and actually wishing it would go away. but she just shrugged as he mentioned the photoshoot. there was something wrong with all this. but she just tried to keep her thoughts away from it. she was actually worrying about him for the moment.

she should have completely seen this coming. if she had been put into the dark with his whereabouts, she'd probably be rather angry. and so she tried not to let his words effect her too much, but wouldn't that be a pretty hard thing to do? usually every word he spoke, she took to heart. "i told you. i've been busy." she spoke slowly with her teeth clenched. of course she hadn't liked him snapping at her at all. not surprising, though. she was pretty much stressed all the time. it made her wonder exactly how he felt at this time. no. she was too scared to even think about that.

"hey! hey!" that was the only response she could come up with at the moment when he had started freaking out, as if it would somehow make him calm down. but she had already figured they were past that point... way past that point. she bit down on her bottom lip, just thinking of all this. she could just so easily put it to a stop by sticking around. but that wasn't going to happen. not until she admitted what was really going on. and face it, if that happened, then charlie would really be scared of his reaction. but she knew something was going to come out of his mouth that would make her pretty angry. that always happened when it came to arguments since they tended to never argue. not over petty little things.

and then there it was. the subject that easily set her off. hell, she wasn't even wanting to cry at this point. instead, she just yelled what she could. "are you that fucking dumb!?" not the right choice of words, she had decided. so she just hung her head and sighed. "keagan. just. listen. i would never. i mean never dream about cheating on you. i didn't marry you for publicity. or even to break your heart. and you're letting this, well, shit get to you?"

biting down on her lip, she couldn't look at him. she had probably just angered him even more. so the best thing she knew how to do was actually run. it came to that. again. but she didn't want him to see that she was slowly becoming torn up by the fact he had accused her of anything along those lines. but another part of her knew that he was correct to even do that. she had been pretty much under the radar and it did look suspicious. "um. i've gotta start packing anyway. i was going to visit for a while. but i don't want to deal with this. i don't get why you don't trust me." she muttered, staring down and then wiping her eyes from where tears had started welling up. "if you want to maybe at least give me a hug. or hell, want me to stay longer, throw me some signs!" that was all she had to say for the moment. she needed to calm down. obviously stressing wasn't good for her and she didn't want to think about this further. the arguments were already starting and she hadn't even been around for that long.

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