Post by vanessa anne dufort on Nov 1, 2008 13:24:56 GMT -5
you will squeeze the life out of me
Vanessa had experienced many times what would be considered a living Hell for some people. She was lucky in everything, but in her relationships with people, either if it as friendship or love and this one wasn’t an exception. It was over? Vanessa asked herself, because she didn’t even dare to admit that it was finished, no, never, that would accept her defeat and Vanessa was too stubborn for that. She wouldn’t dare to say it to anyone, to admit it, or even think it. It wasn’t over, it couldn’t be, it just couldn’t be.
However, Vanessa had been put through a torture. She didn’t leave her house for four days, she refused to see anyone and politely denied with an excuse like “I’m too busy for parties now, sorry.” But the truth was that Vanessa was ruining herself, or at least, trying to. When she had her last talk with Kevin on messenger, where he just gave up on everything, Vanessa couldn’t believe that Kevin really did that. What a bastard! How the hell did he have the guts to say that he loved her? Vanessa was astonished by his behavior and wondering how the hell she could love an asshole like him, she knew she wasn’t the brightest person a round, but Vanessa believed that Kevin was a lot worse than her, since all she asked was his support when the bitch of his little sister tried to make her bald and he laughed about it! Now, that was too much, Vanessa had her pride and self-esteem, seriously.
But she felt so lonely, so broken-hearted, and so sad that she was drowning in alcohol again and smoking a way too much too. It was the only thing that calmed her down, that made everything go quicker, that made Vanessa forget what happened. Vanessa had an alcohol problem, especially three years ago, but since her parents threatened her, she kind of left it. Now, it was impossible not to drink, Vanessa was so stupidly sad that she was even angry with herself. Then there was cigarettes, unlike alcohol, Vanessa hated smoking, but at least calmed her down so Vanessa had also been smoking a lot. It wasn’t healthy at all, but that’s how Vanessa is, bitter and right now depressed.
Things were so bad that in the fifth day, she got up, took a long bath, brushed her teeth, combed her hair, put some make-up on to make the dark circles under her eyes unnoticeable and put on some decent clothes. After taking some pills for headaches, Vanessa got on her Fiat Panda and drove to that bastard’s house. This time, Vanessa wouldn’t fight, or yell or snap, this time Vanessa would try to have that asshole back with her. He was her main priority now, if Vanessa was romantic, she would say that he was everything, but fortunately, Vanessa too bitter to say it.
When she arrived, Vanessa looked at Kevin’s door by a few seconds, her thin eyebrows arched a bit, wondering if she should do it or not. It was so darn confusing, but at the same time, Vanessa just couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, she was going to talk to him. Grabbing her sunglasses and bag, Vanessa went to the street, crossing it before arriving to the mansion’s gate. Once there, Vanessa noticed the gate open and walked to the road that lead to his front door, when Vanessa was almost knocking she stopped a bit to think. What if he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of there? Nah, that wouldn’t happen, or at least Vanessa thought it wouldn’t, Kevin couldn’t be that cruel, so she took a deep breath and made all those bad thoughts go away before she knocked the door.
After knocking, it was when Vanessa realized what she just did. She was going to face him for the first time in months, since they’ve been only talking by messenger or cell-phone, maybe she wasn’t that ready after all, but Vanessa definitely preferred to end with every hope she had of getting back with him than spend the rest of the month drinking and smoking.
